Blessed

This weekend I got to go home for my brothers senior night football game. Him and my little sister had no idea I was coming home. I got to surprise them at both at school.  After watching carlin play his final football game of his high school career, I realized how much is going to change in the next year. And how unbelievably blessed I am to have the family I have. Through struggles and changes and just life, my family has grown stronger and closer together in situations where other families would grow apart. I not only have a brother and and sister, I have a constant fab club and support system that will never fail me. I not only have an AMAZING mom and dad I have two of my very best friends who constantly help me and love me when I am undeserving. There are so many people who don't know their family, don't have a family or don't have a good family life. I complain about so many things, but I truly have everything I need in Christ and the family he has given me. It hurts my heart to leave but knowing I am doing Gods will makes it a little but easier. And knowing they are cheering me on from Oregon makes it exciting. I am so blessed by the family God placed me in, they are my greatest joy in life and my favorite people in the enire world. Sometimes I am amazed that God has blessed me so much in one department, sure I may not be so lucky in other departments but I don't know that or realize it because I have them. 

Here are some pictures from my weekend home :)

It Must Be You.

This Sunday I went to church with a family here at IHQ and they are doing a series on the book The Story.  Which is the bible written in novel form.  The started Sunday off with this song that I would like to share with you.

It Must Be You

I'd like to look in the mirror, without hiding my eyes
I'd like to see what You see, why You think I'm qualified
To speak for You, O God, Most High

Who hides a baby in the reeds of a river, until he's grown?
Gives him a stage and the strength to deliver his people home?
'Cause I'm tongue tied, weak in the knees
Must be something You only see

If there's anything good, anything that's good in me
Well, it must be You, must be You
And if there's any part of my shaking heart to see this journey through
It must be You; it must be You
Must be You; it must be You

Not gonna argue with fiery branches that speak my name
Not gonna start taking backward glances from where we came
'Cause tomorrow's holding our dreams, but today I'm here on my knees

If there's anything good, anything that's good in my
Well, it must be You, must be You
And if there's any part of my shaking heart to see this journey through
It must be You; it must be You
Must be You; it must be You

O God of parting water; God of falling bread
If my words should falter, will You speak instead?
You must see something good, You must see something true
It must be You
It must be You...

If there's any part of my shaking heart to see this journey through
It must be You; it must be You
Must be You; it must be You

This song spoke wonders to me.  Everything good that I am, is Him.  Everything I am capable of is Him.  It has nothing to do with me.  Because when you look at me on a scale of 1-10, I'm not special.  I don't have any special gifts that make me stand out in a crowd.  I am not super smart or musically gifted, I can't build anything and I'm not artistic.  I am an average normal human being.  Yet God is using me in spectacular unaverage ways.  When we look in the bible, he used people just like you and me, there weren't special, they didn't have any special gifts or talents. But they fallowed and trusted God and that made them special.  He makes me spectacular and special and different, he makes me stand out in a crowd because of the way he uses me.  Everything I do is Him.  

I am here in Missouri for another 10.5 months for my internship and then another 3 months for CMI.  After that I am not sure where I will be going but I do know that wherever it is, it will be with CEF.  Right now I do not have all my support raised for the time that I am here, I need about $400 more to be fully supported for my 15 months here in Missouri.  But as I plan to continue working with CEF after my internship, I need people to partner with me to support me.  That could be on a monthly basis or a one time gift.  If I can start raising support now, then when I am finished with CMI I will be able to jump right into ministry, wherever that may be.  If you are interested in knowing more about what I am doing or about investing in me and CEF, PLEASE let me know and I can send you mail or a link over email or facebook that shows you how you can help support me.  At the bottom I have my CEF email that you can reach me at.
Thank you to everyone who continues to pray for me while I am here!

Some ways to be praying for me right now,
God would supply the final money I need for my internship
That people would partner with me in supporting me on a monthly basis
God would show me what is next after my time here
That I would be patient and know that God has a plan for me and not to worry.

kendra.ables@cefonline.com

So This is Love

I have discovered that I am madly, passionately, frustratingly and painfully in love with my Savior.
The last two might look odd.  But I don't think they are.  It's frustrating being in love.  It's hard to agree on things, and see this kind of love is different.  There is no negotiating to make both parties happy.  He is always right, and that can be frustrating at times.  It's frustrating that he likes to test me, that he likes to do things to draw me closer to him, so that I can learn to love and trust him more.  It's frustrating.
It's painful because I fail him every day.  Every day I know that I let him down in some way, and sometimes it's hard to think that someone could possibly love me as much as he does when someone let's him down as much as I do.  It's painful to know that I let him down constantly and that he continues to love me the same.


Tonight at bible study we sang the song Inside out by Hillsong United.  And before we sang the song Rachel was talking about the words.  As we were singing the song I found myself consumed in unbelievable happiness.  I have tried everything to feel joy in my life.  I have tried doing it alone and without God.  I have tried doing half heatedly with God, and now I am trying it 100% with God.  This song brought so much joy to me tonight.  Because it's true.  I am so in love with my maker, I want him to take me and consume me from the inside out.  I want him to be all I think about day in and day out.  I want him to have every last piece of me, pretty and ugly.  I want to learn the art of losing myself in him so that I can bring him praise.  I want to shine because Christ is so bright in me.  This is my prayer right now, that I may be consumed by my Savior, through trials, heartache and pain nothing will ever make me stray from him.

A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyone all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art if losing myself in bringing you praise
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

The Power of My Savior

Have you ever felt like you can't catch a break, like once something get's better something else goes wrong immediately after?  Even if it's something small, you've had so much going on it feels like it's the end of the world?  This happens to me sometimes.  And normally I don't handle it very well.  But I have discovered something, and it's freakin awesome.  Would you like to know what it is?

JESUS

I have just felt Satan yanking on me lately.  And like I said before, normally I don't deal with it well.  I get angry that things are falling apart, big or very small.  I get sad that life is hard.  I become a giant pity party for myself.  It's not pretty.  Today I lost over 1400 pictures that were on my phone.  My heart hurt for the memories of my family that I am not going to be able to get back, the pictures with the friends that I miss that I no longer have.  I also haven't had the best couple weeks, and right as things got fixed, this happened.  And this morning I thought "man, can't I just catch a little break?"  And then all the sudden I realized, this could be so much worse!  I still have a phone, all my contacts are still there, I have WONDERFUL people surrounding me and I have a lot of the pictures on facebook and instagram that were lost on my phone.  It defiantly still sucks but I am so lucky and I have so much more then I deserve.  I was sad today about my pictures, but it did not consume me.  I could feel Satan trying to get me down, and I still can, but he is failing horribly.  Because of the love and trust I have for my savior Satan is getting stomped on, as soon as I realized today that letting this one thing consume my day and ruin everything was silly and that trusting in God was a much better choice of my energy I could feel weight being lifted off my shoulders.

You Make Beautiful Things

It's almost been exactly one month since I have been here in Warrenton Missouri. I could never have guessed how much I would enjoy Missouri or the people I am with. I would have never guessed that God would have blessed me with people like Brendan and Rachel and Stephanie and Ryan . I also would have never guessed the heart ache I would feel for home, for my mother, for the hug of my best friend, for the joy and laughter from my siblings, for the comfort of Oregon.  I haven't had the easiest time in my personal life since I've gotten here, and I am hurting in a couple different ways.  But it's amazing the difference I can see and feel in myself. If this would have been a year ago, two years ago, I would be angry, angry at God for letting me hurt, angry at everyone who has it easy simply because I don't. I would have started to turn in and become bitter and mad.  Yet now, I am turning right to Christ.  I know my pain is not his doing, I know he feels my ache and wants to be the source that makes me feel whole again. Struggling sucks, no matter what you are struggling with, it sucks. It sucks to feel like you have no control.  But in my struggle I have found the loving arms of my Heavenly Father.  I have found that he makes us go through struggles and heart aches so that we can grow closer to him, so that we can turn and run into his arms and feel his undying love for us.  I wish so badly I would have understood this a year ago, two years ago.  A lot of the pain and struggle I put myself through would not have happened. But I know and understand it now, and though I may not have the physical touch of my Heavenly Father, the warmth and love I feel in my heart is much better then the bitterness and hatred I have had before.  Through our pain, our ugliness and our hurt he makes beautiful things out of us, he is just waiting for us to turn and run to him. 

Week 3

  I have been here for 3 weeks and it has been a struggle and a blessing.  I was told that the first two weeks were the hardest and it was very true.  I missed home, I missed my brother and sister, my parents, my best friends and my dog.  I thought if this is how it's going to be for 15 months there is no way I am going to be able to do this.  I talked to my family on the phone and some of my friends and they all assured me that it would get easier.  They were right.  Through the struggle of being home sick and getting used to all my new surroundings and adjusting God has wrapped his arms around me and made me feel safe and loved.  He has placed me with people that I LOVE working with and every time I start to feel a little down he sends me some love from home at the exact time I need it. 
  I am happy where I am.  I never thought something like this would come my way, but it did and I am so in my element.  I love who I am working for and the ministry I am working for.  I am reminded daily of God's love and grace for me and for others.  He is taking me on this grand adventure and every morning I wake up I think, I wonder what God will do with me today.  He is testing me with things I struggle with and making me work on them and helping me through it all. 
  As I look next to my computer at all my pictures of my family and friends, I just feel blessed beyond belief.  They have and are continuing to support me and love me from afar.  They are my rock and I couldn't do any of it without them. 

  Some things that you could pray for:

1. Strength for myself
2. REST
3. Patience with other staff and interns
4. That God would start to show me what is next so that I can start preparing for my future now.
5. If IMPACT is what I have next and if so where.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement.  Miss you all and love you!

Adventures in St. Louis

I have successfully finished my first week here at International Head Quarters!  It's amazing how much can change in just one week!  I am so blessed to be here.  The people I work with are amazing, our office has lots of laughter and fun but we still get lots done.  This week started a new chapter in my life and after week one I am even more excited about what the future holds. 

Yesterday Rachel (my 'boss' or supervisor) Brendan (other intern) and I went out for the day to St. Louis.  We went to this AMAZING place called the city museum.  It is the entire building shown in the picture plus the roof.  There is a school bus hanging off the roof a ferris wheel two water towers and just a lot of little things. 

On the inside it's like a child's dream come true (or adult's in our case).  Everything is made from found material.  There are different areas and everywhere you go there are these holes and nooks and cranny's that you think can't possible be anything but they are!  They lead to different rooms, different sites and new places.  Some are dark and you can't see your hand in front of your face and some are bright with blinking red lights.  This is Brendan in one of the MANY holes we found.

We had so much fun hanging out and acting like kids and goofing off with one another.  The place is open till 12AM on Saturday nights and you are aloud to leave and come back.  So we left for dinner and then came back to go onto the roof.  We got back and on the roof at the most perfect time because it was right when the sun was setting.  We are on the roof of an 11 story building and the sun looks like it's eye to eye with us.  It was absolutely beautiful.

(the one below was taken on the school bus hanging off the roof!)

 

Friday we at lunch we were told that laughing was good for the soul.  My response was "well then my soul is pretty solid!" 

I am so blessed by these two that I get to work with, I know things will get harder and sometimes I'm sure I won't like them (and them me rightfully so) but we share a common desire to share Jesus with the lost and with the children of the world and that will get us through whatever forks in the road we might come to. 

 

 

 

 

This morning we had our first chapel.  The chapel was about Good News Across America. 
Everyone that went to Denver gave a small testimony about their club, team or experience.
I shared that before GNAA I was not excited, it was two weeks that I wasn't going to get to spend with my family right before I left for internship.  I didn't know what to expect.
Once I was in Denver it was one of the biggest blessings.  I had so much fun and it got me excited to come to Missouri.
As I am sitting there listening to others share their stories, I am blown away by God's love for us.
He did so many things in those two weeks in Denver that I didn't even realize. 
He provided in so many ways, he kept our volunteers, workers and kids safe in not so safe situations.
He kept the enemy at bay when we were expecting direct attacks, there was just so much. 
I am just blown away by how God provides and protects us when we are so undeserving.

After this morning I am way more excited for Portland Good News Across America.
Can't wait to bring this awesome program to Oregon and see the change at home! 

Leaving home is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
But also the best.
I have been here for three days and I can already see and feel God working in me.
Do I know what he is going to do?
No.
Do I know what is going to happen next?
Definitely not.
But for the first time it's ok.
I know I am right where I am supposed to be.
I miss home and I miss family and friends but I know I can do it and will make it through the year.
God has so much planned and I can't wait to see and experience what it is.
I am so blessed to have such an amazing and supporting family.
I am also so blessed by my friends who have/are rooting for me and supporting me.
Just getting a text saying we are proud of you means more then they will ever know.
I hope that this blog will keep you posted on my happenings here in Missouri.
I also hope that you will be able to take things from it and pray for me.
Love you all!

Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future."